Reducing Overwhelm and Finding Happiness with Soulful Self-Care
“This is like church”, said the lady next to me as the band started playing. Standing there with tears in my eyes, she put words to my exact feelings. This concert was more than entertainment for me, it was a path back to myself after spending many months tethered to my computer writing a book. I couldn’t remember the last concert I’d been to, which means I was long overdue for this infusion of spiritual connection, medicine, or whatever you want to call it.
The familiarity of seeing a musician who I had loved for the last 20 years was a balm to my sensitive soul. As the first notes rang out, I immediately felt tapped into a tapestry of vivid memories from countless concerts of the past. All those musical nights that had come before lit up inside of me, transporting me from my tired 43 year old self to my energized 25 year old self. I felt myself wake up.
Magic of Sensitivity
This is the hidden magic of being a highly sensitive person that people who aren’t highly sensitive don’t understand and people that are HSPs often forget. You have more capacity for positive experiences than the average person. You can be touched deeply and profoundly in an instant. It’s quite a blessing and counteracts the difficult parts of being more impacted by stress and aware of every little thing in your surroundings. Even though you will be quickly overwhelmed by life’s demands, it doesn’t require much to pull yourself back to contentment. While it may be hard to believe at first, the path to bliss is actually just as short as the path to overwhelm!
The trouble is knowing what path to take and actually getting yourself to walk the path once you find it. Highly sensitive people often don’t feel the same level of relief or fulfillment from everyday activities such as having a night out with friends, getting a massage, trying a new restaurant, or going to a workout class. These might be enjoyable experiences for an HSP but not deeply fulfilling and stress-relieving like they would for many non-HSPs. Instead, an HSP might feel overstimulated or bored. Having a path to fulfillment that is different from most other people leaves you feeling hopeless and perpetually stuck in overwhelm. But it’s not hopeless, you just need to find your path!
For me, going to a concert uplifts my spirits and inspires me to keep moving forward when I’ve been going through a difficult or draining time. But of course, it’s not possible to attend a concert every week so I have to rely on other options in between when my favorite artists come to town. The other activities that fill me up at a soul level are enjoying the comfort of a familiar yoga practice, sitting on the deck and watching the hummingbirds flutter around the sage bushes in my backyard, or losing myself in a solo dance party or attending an Ecstatic Dance event.
Soulful Self-Care Essentials
What nourishes your soul and helps you connect to something beyond yourself? Is it attending services at your church, synagogue, mosque, or temple? Do you engage in some other form of spiritual practice such as meditation? Or perhaps you find something else fulfilling such as hiking in the serene wooded areas near your house or volunteering at a local animal shelter? Whatever form this soulful self-care takes, it should embody three qualities to be most effective:
Familiar: feels comforting, like the safety of home
Transformative: your mood shifts and uplifts during the process
Accessible: you can engage with this activity or practice weekly
To cover all these bases and have a variety of options, it helps to have at least three activities on your soulful self-care menu. If something you can only do periodically is on your list - like going to live concerts, visiting a retreat center, or traveling to a different place - balance that out with a practice or activity that is closer to home. Perhaps you create a staycation or solo retreat on one of your days off. If everything is outside of your home - like attending church or hiking in the woods - make sure you have an option for when you’re too tired to venture out of the house. Another option would be to set up a devotional space at home or a spot in your backyard to gaze at the trees or birds. Give yourself options so you can adapt to life’s demands without sacrificing your needs for fulfilling, inspirational, and uplifting experiences.
