How Much Time Hibernating in Bed is Too Much?
Another difficult week to be highly sensitive, I thought to myself as I lay curled up in bed on Friday afternoon. Being in bed at this time of the week isn’t unusual for me, as I set aside Fridays intentionally as a self-care/hibernation day. I love settling in with my journal, a stack of books, or a favorite show. After seeing clients, consulting, teaching, or writing, by the end of the week I am ready to recharge and go inward. This is my guaranteed day to move slow, soothe my nervous system, and be introspective.
Going Down the Rabbit Hole
This particular Friday, though, my emotions were heavy and I had a twinge of questioning my weekly routine. These thoughts led me to these questions:
“Why don’t HSPs honor our needs when we can?”
“Why do we give in to the “shoulds” when no one is looking?”
Although I have become really adept at recognizing and honoring my sensitive needs over the past few years, as well as setting clear boundaries, I still have these moments of self-doubt creep in from time to time.
“Is there something wrong with me for enjoying an afternoon in my cocoon?”
“Why am I not taking advantage of the nice weather or the beautiful San Francisco Bay Area where I live?”
A Case of the Shoulds
Should, should, should. What about what I want? need? What about what rhythm feels right to me? What I need is a day to recharge, a buffer between work and the weekend. We all know that the weekends can be their own version of work. Two days is never enough to tend to house chores, laundry, grocery shopping, running errands, connecting with friends and family, resting, and preparing for the next week. I didn’t even mention the time an HSP would need to decompress from the week and transition between these activities. Three or four days would be more realistic! This again is why I take Fridays off - because I can and because it’s what I need.
Do I sometimes feel “difficult”, “high maintenance”, or “extra” because of this? Occasionally, but then I remember what happens when I look outward to what others are doing versus listen inward to what I need.
There have been a few times where I needed to schedule an appointment on a Friday or gave in to the pressure to be productive, but I always end up feeling overstimulated and irritable as a result. I need time to decompress from my work, it’s heavy to support folks through a pandemic and so much uncertainty. When I do listen inward and honor my own rhythm for downtime, I always have more energy, more capacity, more presence to engage in activities and socialize with others.
A Little Goes a Long Way
The best part is that it only takes a little something for a highly sensitive person to fill up with the same amount of joy as a non-HSP. Being so highly perceptive and a big feeler, you not only notice the little things around you, but you get to deeply experience them.
For instance, just while I have been sitting outside writing these words to you - I got to fill up on the soothing sounds of water spilling from a big stone fountain outside of my local library, the warm sun on my skin, bees dancing happily nearby, and the sight of a father and two kids dancing to this group of banjo and ukulele players that meet outside the library on Tuesdays. Each one of these things could go unnoticed or overlooked, but I soaked them all up!
While others enjoy and/or need more activity, engagement, or stimulation to feel fulfilled, HSPs tend to need more rest and less doing. You actually don’t need to do all the things to feel fulfilled, connected, or inspired as an HSP. A little goes a long way!
When it’s just you around and the world feels heavy or you’re exhausted from the week:
What decisions can you make to honor yourself?
What do you need to recharge and have enough to go back into the world?
How can you do less and not more?
Relaxing in Bed is Important
Look inward and remember that it’s okay to give that to yourself, especially when no one else is watching. Actually, it’s necessary. And if you get stuck, here are a few reminders from your fellow HSPs as to why relaxing in bed is so important:
It’s comforting and soothing; it helps me feel calm
Allows me to have much needed alone time to be able to engage with others
My body needs the rest, the bed is where I refuel
Being in bed helps me feel safe and recharge when I’ve pushed myself too much
It’s important to me and it’s my life!
